I've heard this quite a few times. It pissed me off every time.
It's usually said in a condescending tone that makes me want to Ric Flair chop the person that blabbed it. If I'm not smiling, there is a reason for it. So mind your damn business.
I digress.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I placed two clementines on my desk. On one I drew a smiley face and on the other I drew a frown. (For no other reason than I am a child.) Little did I know it would turn into a scientific experiment of epic proportions.
I present to you-
Exhibit A:
The Happy Couple
For the remainder of this presentation I will refer to Smiley as Bobby McFerrin, who told the world not to worry and be happy. And Frown will be called, Robert Smith, mopey singer from The Cure.
After a few days Bobby McFerrin looked the same
Exhibit B:
My career? Umm...I'm still smiling.
But Robert Smith was showing signs of decay.
Exhibit C:
I'm hiding the tears in my eyes, Cause boys don't cry.
I was getting a little worried about Robert Smith. But not enough to skip vacation. I came back to this terror.
Exhibit D:
What's wrong, Robert?
No one bought our last album.
I have the solution for that. Stop releasing albums. No disappointment. Look, I'm still smiling.
Robert Smith was rapidly turning into a zombie clementine.
Exhibit D:
It's Friday, why am I not in love? I'm sticking to the Debbie Downer songs.
And Bobby McFerrin was turning into Cloris Leachman. But no decay.
Exhibit E:
A Caribbean Queen's love is good for the skin. Wait, that's Billy Ocean. Who cares. I'm still smiling.
This impromptu experiment proves that if you smile, you live longer. Suck on that, Stephen Hawking. Who's your God now? Wait.....
How do I incorporate this new finding into my life?
I don't.
I doubt I'll smile that much. And I like The Cure.
See ya soon, Robert Smith.
*This was originally published in June 2011.
*This was originally published in June 2011.
