Catching Up With K.J. Bryen

I recently had the pleasure of asking author, K.J. Bryen, a few questions about her debut novel Lokte and prequel short story, Unlocked. Check it out below.

Tell us a little about yourself?

I'm a passionate writer who works at a news station by day, a writer by night. I love pretty much all genres, but my favorites are YA, fantasy, Christian, and thrillers. If I could accomplish anything with my writing, it would be to have an emotional impact on others. Other than that, I'm married to an awesome husband, have two crazy dogs, and spend my down time watching my favorite t.v. shows.

You've recently released Unlocked, a prequel to your debut novel Lokte, can you tell us a little about the story, and when can we expect Lokte?

Unlocked explores the backstory of one of the secondary characters in Lokte, and incorporates other characters from the novel. Here is the description:

New York, 1985.

Sophia Parks is used to battling demons. But when she is approached by a girl who needs help banishing a demon, Sophia struggles to help her, and must go up against the most powerful demon she's ever faced. To fail might mean losing everything she loves . . .

Lokte comes out this Friday, September 12.

What was your inspiration for Lokte?

I honestly can't remember. It is an idea I got several years ago, and I just knew I had to write it.

What's the hardest obstacle you've faced in becoming a self-published author? And how have you overcome it?

So far? Time. I never dreamed how much time it would take to self-publish. There is so much involved in it, and working a full-time job on top of it, it can be really hard to get everything done and not go crazy. I think I've been managing pretty well overall though. All I can really do is use my spare moments to write, and take breaks when I need them.

What have you learned from the experience of publishing Unlocked and Lokte?

I have learned just how much work goes into following one's dream. It's a lot, but in the end, knowing that my work is out there and can be enjoyed by others is just a huge blessing. I also have learned to have a real respect for all writers. Even if I don't like a novel that I read, I'm much less judgmental now that I know all the work that is involved in just creating it.

What are you currently reading?

Right now I'm reading the third book in the Gemma Doyle series (by Libba Bray), The Sweet and Far Thing. I love this series, but the third book is over 800 pages O.O It might be a while before I finish it!

How do you stay productive? Daily word count? Goals?

I have a daily word count of 1000 words. I wish I could take on more, but definitely not possible right now. Well, my primary goal is to be a full-time writer! But my immediate goals would be to just start building a loyal readership. That in itself would be wonderful.

If you could ask one person, one question, who would the person be and what would the question be?

Oh gosh, that's a hard one! The only thing I can thinking of is that I kind want to ask J.K. Rowling why so many people in the seventh Harry Potter had to die. Seriously, like all my favorite characters died.

What's next for K.J. Bryen?

Well, the first two of my YA Fairy Tale Horror series come out on October first under a different pen name, and after that, the next ones will be released every thirty days. I also am considering a sequel to Lokte, but I'm not sure about that yet. If I decide against it, I'll be releasing a book next year under K.J. Bryen called Nightmare Land.

For a limited time you can get Unlocked for free at Amazon. And you can learn more about K.J. at Twitter. 

Getting to Know Tracy Sharp ; Getting to Know Me

Since Tracy Sharp, author of the Leah Ryan Thrillers series, and I released new books during the same week, I thought it would be a good idea to interrogate, I mean interview each other over an imaginary cup of coffee. So grab a real cup of coffee, or tea, or shot of whiskey, whichever you prefer, and get to know us a little better. It's probably better to read this while listening to ABBA's 'Knowing Me, Knowing You'. That's just a suggestion.

Getting to Know Tracy

 Paul: Tell us a little bit about yourself. 

Tracy: I'm from Northern, Ontario, Canada. I just finished my interview and test to become an American citizen. I've been in upstate NY for 14 years. I love this country.

Paul: What made you decide that you wanted to be a writer?

Tracy:  It's the one thing I love most in the world to do. I'm better at writing than any other job. And I've tried plenty of jobs. Even spilled a tray of drinks on a very tough motorcycle chick once. I just kept buying her beer all night. She was cool with that. Didn't make much in tips that night.

 Paul:  What was the first book you published and when was it published? 

Tracy: The first book I published was through Liquid Silver Books, and it was Repo Chick Blues in 2005. I then wrote Finding Chloe and published that one through Liquid Silver as well, in early 2007.

Paul: What did you learn from your first release? Mistakes? Were you pleased with the results? 

Tracy: Repo Chick Blues was primarily an action thriller. I didn't know quite what I was doing, but I had a ton of fun with it. I've learned a lot since then, about structure and character. The hero's journey. I've updated Repo some since that early release. I know a lot more about constructing a story than I did then.

Paul: You self-publish now. What made you choose to go the self-publishing route?

Tracy: I never liked that I had no control over anything in publishing. I was with a small press, both times, and although they were very nice to me, I had no control over anything, and didn't make much money. There was no promo.  Any promo I did, I did myself. 

Now, I can choose what promo I want, and everything else about my book, and I reap the benefits from any promo I do. I can choose the cover, editor, formatter, when to publish. I like having that control. And I make more money now than I ever did with a traditional publisher. 

 Paul: What genres do you write in? 

Tracy: Mystery, Thriller, Suspense, Romantic Suspense and Horror. I did a YA Horror novel that I loved writing, also.

 The Writing Process

Paul: How do you find time to write? 

Tracy: Back then, I wrote early in the morning or late at night, and on weekends. I didn't have a family, but I did have a full-time job, so I gave it all I had when I wasn't working.

Paul: Do you give yourself a word count quota for the day? 

Tracy: 1000 words a day is my quota. I try to do more, if I can, and many times I can, but 1000 words is my mark.

Paul: Do you have a writing ritual? 

Tracy: Really, I just sit and do it. I don't edit myself in the first draft. I just get everything down.

Paul:  What do you listen to while you write? 

Tracy: While I was writing Red Surf, I would listen to ocean waves crashing against the shore. Usually, though, I don't listen to anything because I get too caught up in the music. Sometimes I'll listen to a song that is a theme song for a character. Two Doors Down's Duck and Run is Leah's theme song.

Paul:  How do you stay productive? 

Tracy: I finish one book and begin another, usually the same day. I'll start the research on whatever comes next. The idea for the next book usually comes to me while I'm writing the current one. I write the idea and known scenes on index cards that I keep in a freezer bag. Each book has a freezer bag of index cards. When I begin the book, I start pinning those cards to a cork board, and I can just move them around as I'm creating.

Paul: How long does it usually take you from idea conception to final draft to publish a book? 

Tracy: It takes about three months. That's for about a 60,000 word novel.

On Marketing

 Paul:  Finding an audience is crucial for self-published authors. 

Tracy: From a marketing aspect what have you done to make yourself more visible to readers. Giving away free books is what I've found reached the most readers. People get a taste of your writing, your characters, and if they like what they read, they will come find you again. I'm the same way with what I read. If I find a writer I love, I read everything they write.

Paul:  If you could offer an author who is about to hit the publish button for the first time a piece of advice what would it be? 

Tracy: Have a great cover, and a great product. Your book is a representation of you. Be professional.

 Meet Leah Ryan

 Paul:  You have a series of books based on a jack-of-all-trades female protagonist. Who is she and what inspired you to create her? 

Tracy: Leah Ryan is a reformed car thief, turned vehicle repossession agent, turned private eye. She kind of fell into the private eye thing while she was repossessing cars. I didn't think about her character while I was creating her. She's a thrill-seeker with a rescue complex. She just started speaking to me and hasn't stopped.

Paul: With four full-length novels and short novel collaboration with Joe Konrath, where should readers begin if they want to catch up with Leah Ryan? 

Tracy: I would suggest reading Jacked Up first, because it's a great little introduction to Leah Ryan and to Joe's Lt. Jack Daniels. I'm a huge fan of the Jack Daniels series and am so honored to be giving the opportunity to write her. If you enjoy Leah Ryan in Jacked Up, Repo Chick Blues is the first in the Leah Ryan series, but it isn't necessary to read the Leah books in order. I've written them so that they can be enjoyed no matter where you begin in the series.

Paul: What’s next for Leah Ryan? 

Tracy: I'm throwing Leah into the horror novel I'm writing right now. Seems to be working out. After that, I'm not sure. But it'll be something exciting :)

Final Words

 Paul:  What are you currently reading? 

Tracy: Currently reading BONE ANDCINDER: A POST APOCALYPTIC THRILLER by Scott Nicholson and Joshua Simcox. It's outstanding. Really high tension and suspenseful. I love thrillers like that.

Paul:  “Me” time is scarce when you’re a self-published writer juggling family and work also. How do you find time to take a step back?  

Tracy: Evenings I set aside for my husband. We watch shows like Breaking Bad, Homeland, Orange is the New Black and The Walking Dead, among others, and time with my son comes after the writing is done for the day, usually around 3 pm. Family time is important.

 Paul:  Why should a reader looking for a new author to read give you a shot? 

Tracy: I think that if a reader enjoys tense, hard-boiled female protagonists they might enjoy my Leah books. They are not for everyone, but I have a loyal fan base who come back again and again, and some readers who email to find out when the next Leah book will be available. I write for the readers who enjoy my books. I just want to entertain. These books wouldn't be considered "Great Literature" by any stretch. My job as a writer is to tell a good story and entertain the hell out of readers. I hope that I succeed in that.

Paul: What’s the best piece of advice you’ve taken away from life so far? 

Tracy: Don't give up. Unless you don't want to put the work into it. There are a million other jobs that are easier to do. If you love it, and you really have to, you need to show up each day and treat the writing like a job, because that is what it is.

Paul:  Do you have a favorite quote that inspires you?

Tracy:  "Just do it!" or "Get 'er Done!" I say those things to myself all the time. Along with a lot of gibberish. I talk to myself a lot.

Paul: What’s next for Tracy Sharp? 

Tracy: The next book. Whatever that will be. I like being surprised.

Getting to Know Paul

Tracy: How do you juggle work and writing? How do you carve out writing time?

Paul: During the daylight hours I am the Director of Content for Showcase Magazine — a regional publication in Southern Virginia. So, I get to write pretty much all day. At night, I work on fiction. Having a job in publishing affords me the opportunity to learn different styles of writing and it's helped me tremendously to improve my craft. I'm somewhat scatterbrained, so as I'm driving or even walking through the mall, dialogue or a scene will come to me and I have to jot it down. Many times it's not even for a story I'm working on.  

Tracy: What have you learned as a writer over the years?

Paul: First and foremost — to check your ego at the door, and to wear thick skin because the forecast calls for heavy criticism.  

Tracy: How do you motivate yourself to write? 

Paul: I'm easily motivated. It usually starts with a simple idea maybe from a situation I witnessed at the mall or from a lyric in a song. In about an hour, I have the basic outline for a story in my head. I have an evernote notebook full of these ideas. Music is probably my main motivation though. As a kid, I didn't read as much as I listened to music. Jim Croce and Jerry Reed taught me how to tell stories through their songs. Bob Dylan probably could have as well, but I couldn't understand him.

Tracy: What is the hardest part of writing a story/book for you, and what is your favorite?

Paul: The hardest part for me is actually finishing the book. I tend to have the beginning and end of a book played out in my head before I even start writing. I just published the first book in my Morning Star trilogy, but I knew how the series was going to end before I put the first word to paper for the first book, Chasing Fireflies.  My favorite part is being able to fight through the demons of knowing how it ends and finishing the book.

Tracy: What is your writing process?

Paul: I don't have a daily goal. I set a weekly goal of 10,000 words. I miss it more than I hit it, but I don't beat myself up over it. Some days I'm just disconnected from my characters. The day writing feels like a chore is the day I fall out of love with it. This philosophy turns out to be pretty productive. This year I've written two novels, two short stories, and I'm a fourth of the way into the second book in the Morning Star series.

Tracy: Do you use a writing group or beta readers? 

Paul: This is an area I still need to work on. I belong to a writer's group, but I don't utilize it like I should. And I'm getting better at networking, so hopefully I can find a few beta readers for future releases.

 Tracy: What methods of marketing have helped you so far, and what hasn't?

Paul: I'll start with what hasn't — doing nothing. I made a big mistake when I published my first book last year. I didn't invest time in researching marketing. I assumed I'd write the book, hit publish, and watch downloads come in. Reality kicked my ass. I think networking with other authors is the most valuable form of marketing. The thing I love most about being part of the world of writers is that most are incredible helpful and genuinely want to see each other succeed. Finding a group of authors to share what works and what doesn't is invaluable. From an advertising standpoint, so far bknights on fiverr has amazed me with level of results I've received.

Tracy: What is the best tip you've ever gotten as a writer? 

Paul: Fear played a big part in me waiting until last year to publish a book. The best advice for me, in life as well as writing, comes from Jim Morrison. He said, "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that fear has no power."

Tracy: What would you tell a newbie who asked you for advice?

Paul:  I would say to research and understand the marketing aspects of self-publishing. Writing the book is the easy part. I'd also start following authors like Hugh Howey, Barry Eisler, Joe Konrath, and David Graughran. The wealth of knowledge you can obtain from following their blogs and social media accounts is priceless.  

Tracy: What genre is your favorite to write and read?

Paul:  To write — I have two favorites, horror and crime fiction. To read — I go through spells. But mostly it's horror and thrillers. Right now, I am on an autobiography kick though. I just finished Meat Loaf's To Hell and Back. I tend to read two or three books at a time, depending on my mood. I recently started Soft Target by Iain Rob Wright. So far, it's great.

Tracy: What's next?

Paul: The plan is to finish the second book in the Morning Star trilogy, Babylon Sister. I'm also working on a monthly serial about a woman who desperately wants to find out who she is while a bunch of baddies want to find out where she is, because there's a possibility she may be the only person that can save mankind from a coming war. Then I'm going back to horror for a bit.

You can grab Tracy's latest, Red Surf for $.99 for a limited time. And you can pick up Chasing Fireflies for $.99 also.  

The Band That Almost Saved the World

Sometimes bands burst upon the music scene with a brightness that can cause the eyes’ of  rock’s biggest critics to blink and give pause to their victory chant, “Rock is dead.” Unfortunately, the brightness is oftentimes the signaling of a supernova.

Recently, I stumbled across a review I wrote a few years back for Welcome to the Wasteland, the debut album by Bad City. For those not familiar with the band, it spawned from members of two bands, Powerspace and Thee Armada. Both well worth checking out, but for different reasons than Welcome to the Wasteland. Here’s the review I wrote:

For years, '80s rock bands have tried to recapture the glory of dueling guitars and the loud chant-along choruses of arena rock. And they've failed. It's partly due to a fickle music scene that takes kids with bad haircuts and questionable talent and turns them into pop stars. But, these rock bands are also to blame. Their recent offerings haven't been strong enough break the spell of auto-tuned puppets.

But, that's about to change. The irony is those '80s bands aren't going to be the saviors of the genre they shaped. Four guys from Chicago and a charismatic singer from California, all of whom were toddlers in rock's heyday, are going to be rock's Flash Gordon.

From the intro of “Showdown in Central Park” Bad City makes no apologies for being loud and sleazy. And they shouldn't. The world needs dirty rock and roll to settle our stomachs after ingesting many years of bubblegum pop music. If radio gives Bad City's “Take Me for a Ride” a shot , the Biebers of the world will be shaking in their purple high tops.

But, Bad City isn't an '80s hair band revival. The band takes the best parts of the genre and mixes them with hints of the Smashing Pumpkins, Queen, and a little Cheap Trick. It's a unique sound that gives me the faith to say rock isn't dead, it's merely been hibernating, and the savage beast is about to wake.

In “Do You Believe In Rock and Roll, ” singer Josh Caddy asks, “Do you remember rock and roll?” If your answer is no,Welcome to the Wasteland will jolt your memory. If you're like me, and your answer is yes, then Bad City is here to save every one of us...just like Flash Gordon.

If you can’t tell from the review, I was pretty damn excited with the record. I grew up in the eighties and nineties when hard rock, and then grunge, ruled radiowaves and MTV. Hearing a band that understood that dueling guitar solos and arena-rock choruses weren’t fossils waiting to be dug up on a Youtube search by some smart ass kid looking for the new Drake video was a sign from Dio. Rock wasn’t dead.

And then Bad City faded away. Maybe it was destiny. At times, the lyrics were prophetic. Words like "We might fuck it up, but we had a good time" hinted to a short-lived juggernaut whose sole purpose was to shake fans who had given up on rock music with a rousing shot to the ears. The reasons why Bad City no longer exists are not important. What is important is that Bad City existed. It’s concrete proof that Night Ranger’s claim of you can still rock in America is true. Bad City released twelve songs and Fight As One ,the theme to Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, which is leaps above anything on the actual Avengers movie soundtrack. These songs give hope to us dreamers who long for music that makes us want to raise our invisible microphones to the air, shred air guitar, and scream, “We are the kings of the nighttime world” in the face of today’s music scene .

In a short time, Bad City lived the rock and roll dream, touring with the Smashing Pumpkins, Hinder, and this little band named KISS. Maybe you’ve heard of them. Pumpkins frontman, Billy Corgan called Bad City, “A super fresh take on the rock.” Paul Stanley said that Wasteland was the best album he’d heard in ages. (This is not a crack on Paul Stanley’s age, but that’s a long fucking time!) The Starchild also said that Bad City was out of most bands’ reach.

The problem with most bands claiming to be rock these days is they are carbon copies of bands that really weren’t good to begin with. It happened in the late eighties with hair metal. It happened in the nineties with grunge. When a band strikes gold, there’s ten others willing to offer their creativity as sacrifice for a ticket to ride the success train. Bad City stood out because it didn’t copy KISS. It didn’t copy the Smashing Pumpkins. Bad City fused its musical influences and produced music that, well, as Corgan said, was super fresh. One of my favorite quotes is by Hugh Macleod, “The price of being a sheep is boredom. The price of being a wolf is loneliness. Choose one or the other with great care."  Bad City was the wolf  with a lone record that should have all of the Seether Wannabe bands rethinking their gameplans. (And it should really make Bret Michaels question recording “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” for the upteenth time.)

I bought Welcome to the Wasteland on the day it was released in 2010. I still listen to it today. You should as well. It’s on my stranded island list. It makes me believe in rock n roll. And I’m holding out hope that one day Bad City will decide it’s time to save rock again. If not, Bad City will live forever on a radio wave.

So it was written. So it is told.

Writer's Blues Volume I

About fifteen years ago I decided that I wanted to write a book. I didn't do it. The story that I wanted to tell was good, at least I thought so. But I still didn't write it. I wasn't ready. I realize that sounds like a  blanket cover-up for the real reason I never wrote that book, but it's the truth. I lacked the drive that it takes to see a novel through to the end. Colin Powell said, "A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work." I guess you could say I sat around waiting for little magical elves to write the book for me. They never showed up. Maybe they were too busy making those fudge stripe cookies.

I didn't know it at the time, but that was my first lesson as a writer. Writing is hard. It's not glamorous. The odds of becoming the next Stephen King are about as good as the odds of never hearing a Nickelback song on rock radio. That cannot be a goal. You have to fall in love with writing to become a writer. And this isn't a storybook kind of love. This is the kind of love where it takes years for the object of your affection to notice you. And even then you have to constantly work to keep the attention. But when you fall in love with telling stories, it's worth it.

The courtship of an uninterested desire has sent many to the gallows of regret. It took a long while; there were a few flirts here and there between me and the idea of becoming a writer, but finally a story gave me no other choice but to write it.

I wrote The Shape of Things to Come about three years ago. At times, the process was pure hell. The person I was fifteen years ago would have given up and ate some cookies. That's a good example of love and lust -- with the story, fifteen years ago, the lust lasted about as long as a Poison song. But with The Shape, I'd fallen in love with the story. I had to see it through. I'm proud of the book. Am I completely happy with it? Probably not. But no matter what I go on to write, The Shape will always hold a special place for me. After years of character development, rewrites, and self-doubt, I'll never forget the moment when I typed the words "The End."

It was then that the dream became reality. I was a writer.

Words Kill

INTERNET COMBAT BASICS

Avoiding Vernacular Homicide: The Wordsmith

Introduction

Forums are one of the oldest forms of social networking. On the surface they are excellent marketing tools and provide a valuable knowledge base for any given subject. But laced within every forum are landmines. Members fall victim to vernacular homicide due to their careless navigation of forums. This section will define the pitfalls that forum members face. 

While forums record the most accidents, the evolution of social media presents additional obstacles that could slap your net cred with a fatality. Twitter, facebook, comment sections on sites like Lifehacker are danger zones.

Don't Piss the Wordsmith Off

Words kill. Keyboards are the second leading cause of death of the Internet persona. (I'm not sure what the number one cause is, but I'm pretty sure it's watching Justin Bieber videos on Youtube.)

You may think that slight, thinly-veiled jab at the wordsmith, in passing, will go unnoticed. It will not. Wordsmiths are similar to sharks in the sense that they swim the Internet looking for opportunities to exert their knowledge of the written word. Mention the wordsmith by name and you're chumming the waters, asking to be Quint from Jaws.  

Pissing of the wordsmith is no different than disturbing a hornets’ nest. Before you know it, you are being stung by a string of words and wit in perfect cohesion. 

What to do?

The simplest answer is to run. Unfortunately, the human ego does not favor the flee option in a fight-or-flight scenario.  But when you’ve be burned bad enough to have Richard Pryor’s ghost appear next to your computer and say, “Look motherfucker, fire hurts. Think this shit out before you mix up a mess of words and hit that send button.”

You should listen to him. 

But you won’t.

You should scurry over to another board in the forum. Usually forums have boards that certain members never migrate from. This is an opportunity to let your wounds heal. Just blend into a thread about the new Testament album and hope no one recognizes you as the person that got clowned on another board.

But you won’t.

You will concoct a response – a retaliation that will have you gleaming when you hit send. That’s a false sense of security. You are about as safe as a camera lens in Kayne’s presence.

But since there is no stopping you, here are the guidelines to surviving a second attack.

I. The Diversion

Throwing in a third party as a diversion is a tactic that can prove to be successful if done properly. You must bring something funny and witty enough in hopes that the crowd’s attention will wander from your floundering. If you fail to do so, the spectators will start placing bets on when you will suffer the same fate as Apollo Creed in Rocky IV.

II.  It is not necessary to dissect and rebut the ENTIRE thrashing. 

This just gives the wordsmith more opportunities to exercise his mind and gives the crowd an instant replay of the beating.

III.  Do not ( under any circumstance) quote a sentence and respond with an emote.

 This will cause several problems. One, it will show that you have no reply, but you’re too stupid not to acknowledge it. You should have played like Genesis and sent “No Reply at All.” Two, and this problem is two-fold, you will bring attention to the flame that obviously left you speechless. This will also highlight it for readers that may have missed it the first time. In turn, this will cause them to re-read the entire post while your beating is replayed in their minds.

IV. If your response does not smell of vengeance, do not quote the sentence.

If you actually muster up a response that involves words make sure they have bite. Responding to a critical hit requires a retaliation that is an equal deduction of life points. Otherwise you might as well walk around with “Finish Him” written above your head.  A few generic put downs followed by questionable pictures lifted from the Internet  in hopes of diverting the crowd’s attention from the reality that you have not returned with an acceptable burn will not work. The wordsmith knows this tactic all too well. He has seen it many times. He may choose to call you on it if your gibberish doesn’t provide him with enough material.

V. Threatening Violence is the Endgame.

Everyone can bench press air. Never forget that you are in cyberspace. Being a third grade thumb- wrestling champion holds no weight on the Internet. For every twenty bicep curls you can do with your keyboard, there is a WOW veteran that can do twenty-five.

Threatening violence does two things. One, it shows everyone watching that the wordsmith is under your skin, no matter how many times you cry that he isn’t. It’s just fun, it’s all jokes. You try to validate this by portraying violence in a cartoon manner. By this stage, you’re transparent. Two, once the violence gauntlet is thrown down, the fight is over. The wordsmith didn’t beat you. You beat yourself. It’s the boomerang effect. You threw the words, he laughed, they came back to you, and knocked you the fucked out.

Conclusion

You must learn and accept the fact that the wordsmith it smarter than you. You’re not the first victim of his vocabulary beatdown. You’re not bringing anything new to the table. Each reply is an opportunity for him to polish his skills as he prepares for more formidable opponents.  You’re the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers. You cannot win.  But all is not lost. The Internet is full of people that would like to play emoticon flaming with you. Stick to that game. And secretly study a thesaurus. But don’t just memorize words that will help you win at Words With Friends. Actually learn the meaning of the words and maybe one day you’ll say goodbye to the little, yellow smiley face.

Remember, Ivan Drago doesn’t lose. That’s only in the movies.

   

One Time I Wore a Duran Duran Shirt to a Motley Crue Show

Not really. Actually, I don’t even own a Duran Duran shirt, but now that I have your attention:

 Why choose a career in writing?

 “I’m a writer. I’ve written a book. Wanna buy it?” I bet you hear that more and more often. The world of publishing has evolved over the last ten or so years, it’s just as easy to publish a book as it was to create a mixtape of the best Duran Duran tracks in the eighties. Take that Duran Duran mixtape, for example, it’s not going to go over too well with metalheads. With writing, you have to very careful that your mixtape of words doesn't stunt your growth.

 Random Example with 80s Music Analogy: 
 It’s incredibly hard to find an audience that will invest time in listening to your voice. If you trick a group of Motley Crue fans into spending a few minutes with your words, they’ll leave pissed off after hearing “The Reflex” ten times. And they will turn around and tell the Van Halen fans that all you play is Duran Duran. 

 Translation: 
 Be honest. Write from the heart. If you don’t like Twilight, don’t write a book about bedazzled vampires. Avoid the pitfalls of trend jumping. If not, you’ll constantly be running from scorpions after falling down a hole. You’ll spend your entire career forcing yourself to be something you’re not. That’s not what writing is about. 

 When developing a brand, or in the case of a writer … your voice, negative publicity is a death knell. If your story is shitty or a complete rehashing of an established author’s bestseller, your career will be short-lived. That’s not to say negative publicity doesn't breed recognition. It does. And in some cases it can be a part of your success if you have the ability to recover from it. So don’t fear it. At some point, it will happen. But in the beginning, do your best to avoid it. If “Music From The Elder” was KISS’s first album, the band wouldn't be on its twentieth farewell tour today.

 So why do you write?

 If you’re writing to become rich, you’ll end up poor, miserable, and feeling like a failure. Writing, just as any other art, should be sincere. Before you start your, “Once upon a time…” you need to be OK with the notion that it’s not going to buy you that house in Malibu. There’s a good chance the royalties won’t even be able to buy your groceries at Target. You really need to be all right with that. After that realization,, if you still write the story, I want to read it.

 Listen, I’m not going to bullshit you and say making enough money to live comfortably from writing isn’t one of my goals. Of course it is, but I do not outline an idea with the hopes it will land me a new Porsche. I write a story with one goal in mind … to have it read. I’m not stating anything groundbreaking. But in today’s market, the reasons for starting a career in writing are blurred by tainted visions of success. It’s like when I found out there was a professional miniature golf association. It’s putt-putt for Christ’s sake. Anyone can do it. Not true. Well...anyone can do it. But very few make a career of it. Writing isn’t that much different. The ability to self-publish opens the door to everyone. Thousands of books are released every month. Each of those authors have their motives for telling their stories. If the motive isn’t pure, the odds of success are about the same as an original member Led Zeppelin reunion.

 If you’re writing to become the next Stephen King, just stop. Stephen King already exists and he does a pretty damn good job at being Stephen King. Besides, he writes a hundred or so books a year. You can’t compete with that. Don’t write to walk in someone else’s shadow. Write to be the first and only you. Be original. It’s OK to pay homage to your favorite writers, but if you copy their style verbatim, you won’t be better than them. Soon, your readers will realize this and stick to the original. Readers today do not have time to waste on bullshit. There’s an awful lot of facebooking and tweeting to be done. Social media affords everyone the opportunity to be a critic. Do you really want to be the subject of a 140 character rant on how your book is a rip-off of Sometimes They Come Back? I know what you’re thinking...Hey maybe someone will see the tweet that loves Sometimes They Come Back and read my book out of curiosity. True...they might. And they will be disappointed because you didn’t do it better than King. At that point you’re known as New Coke.

 Case Study : A Kiss-Off 
Creature was a band in the 80s that you’ve probably never heard of. Why? Because they were KISS clones. I’m not talking the clones from KISS Meets the Phantom. These were much worse...they tried to perform. There are many reasons Creature failed. They looked like a flea market KISS singing Cinderella cover songs at the county fair. But, that’s the shit that was selling records in the 80s. The main reason Creature failed was because KISS already existed and had an army of loyal fans.

 Maybe the success of E.L. James inspired you to pick up the pen. Sure, she turned Twilight fanfiction into an insanely popular Fifty Shades trilogy. That lightning in a bottle scenario is as rare as an 80s hair band scoring a hit in today’s world of manufactured pop music. Your Walking Dead fanfiction of Rick catching Daryl having an affair with zombie Lori will not spawn the next great trilogy. When you see the sales numbers you’ll feel gutted. And question your choice to become a writer. This is a good thing, because you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. There are no ulterior motives with the right reasons to write. No masquerades. No bullshit. You write because you want to create something others want to read, be it fiction or non-fiction. If you’re a writer, you’ve heard the saying, “write what you want to read.” This is true to an extent. I’d like to think you would want to read well-written stories with concise plot lines. But, while a goal should be to write the story you want to read, you need to make sure others want to read it as well. It goes back to the Duran Duran mixtape, writing a story about Duran Duran fans narrows the reader. Throw in plushies dancing to “Girls on Film” and you’ve broaden the audience. The simplicity of it is...yes, write the story you want to read but remember the key is to get others to read it as well. The American Dream is changing. For many it’s still fueled by the allure of fame and fortune. And failure will crush most of those, paving the way for the next wave of wide-eyed hopefuls. Musicians can create their next record with a computer and a free afternoon. Writers can write and publish a novel without leaving their couch. In a world where it’s much easier to get your product to the masses, it’s much harder to get it seen. That’s why you have to be true...and good. Don’t worry, if you’re true, you won’t let yourself create something that isn’t good.

 If your bio says, “I’m a writer. I’ve written a book. Wanna read it?” then you’ve created something you should be proud of. And that is why you should choose to write.

Smile. You'll Live Longer...

I've heard this quite a few times. It pissed me off every time.

It's usually said in a condescending tone that makes me want to Ric Flair chop the person that blabbed it. If I'm not smiling, there is a reason for it. So mind your damn business.

I digress.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I placed two clementines on my desk. On one I drew a smiley face and on the other I drew a frown. (For no other reason than I am a child.) Little did I know it would turn into a scientific experiment of epic proportions.

I present to you-

Exhibit A:

The Happy Couple

For the remainder of this presentation I will refer to Smiley as Bobby McFerrin, who told the world not to worry and be happy. And Frown will be called, Robert Smith, mopey singer from The Cure.

After a few days Bobby McFerrin looked the same

Exhibit B:

My career? Umm...I'm still smiling.

But Robert Smith was showing signs of decay.

Exhibit C:

I'm hiding the tears in my eyes, Cause boys don't cry.

I was getting a little worried about Robert Smith. But not enough to skip vacation. I came back to this terror.

Exhibit D:

What's wrong, Robert?

No one bought our last album.

I have the solution for that. Stop releasing albums. No disappointment. Look, I'm still smiling.

Robert Smith was rapidly turning into a zombie clementine.

Exhibit D:

It's Friday, why am I not in love? I'm sticking to the Debbie Downer songs.

And Bobby McFerrin was turning into Cloris Leachman. But no decay.

Exhibit E:

A Caribbean Queen's love is good for the skin. Wait, that's Billy Ocean. Who cares. I'm still smiling.

This impromptu experiment proves that if you smile, you live longer. Suck on that, Stephen Hawking. Who's your God now? Wait.....

How do I incorporate this new finding into my life?

I don't.

I doubt I'll smile that much. And I like The Cure.

See ya soon, Robert Smith.

*This was originally published in June 2011.